Crash

Tonight I felt like I crashed. I couldn't get Ava to settle down. She is so used to being held by everyone and comforted all the time. I honestly feel so overwhelmed by it. Daniel and I tried everything, he finally took her out on a drive because that works. I feel like a bad mom though because the cry just got to me, I couldn't console her. I feel bad having both of them and not being able to console them both when they both cry. It is just so hard. I knew it would be, but I think some people love to hear me admit it. I have never been disillusioned to believe this would be easy, but it is just as hard as I thought it would be. Whoever glamorized twins... is crazy.

The day was much better, i got to visit my friends at school and it was so nice to see everyone. The girls did really well and even went longer in between feedings and STILL did well. So, I was blessed by that. It was good to get out, I think I'll have to do that at least once a day. Well, I love them so much and want to be everything for them, so I keep trying ... and trying. Just keep praying that I can find ways to calm my girls and be a good mother to them!