Going well=5wks today!

Our date night was a success, we enjoyed dinner and didn't talk about the babies much. We had a great weekend, minus locking ourselves out of our house on Sunday afternoon. We took the babies to church in Caldwell and enjoyed lunch at Daniels parents house, then when we finally drove home we realized we didn't have our house keys, we had left in such a hurry we didn't grab them! Luckily, Daniels mom had an extra house key and she drove to give it to us very fast. In the meantime, I was feeding the babies in the trunk of our Honda Pilot. It was quite a sight.

Today Daniel and I went to eat and I think we scarffed our food in 20 minutes to get home in time to feed the babies again. Our day is broken up in these little segments. We had several visitors today and someone who brought us dinner from my twins club. It really helps because I don't have to cook or worry about that! Also, my great friend Kelly brought over some MORE food to stock our freezer, she is so sweet. We also got a chance to hang out which was nice.

Daniel is still home from work tomorrow and we are enjoying our time together. We have managed to get lots of things done around the house, which I find unbelievable considering the time frames we work in! :)

Soon I will be posting more pictures of the cuties, I swear they are changing so much everyday. Ella is going through the growth spurt now that I think Ava went through a few weeks ago. Ella is wanting to constantly eat. Ava basically thinks that if she is awake she needs to be eating as well. The girls enjoyed some tummy time today... and when I say enjoyed..I am kidding, they cried the entire time, it makes them so mad to be on their tummy, but we bring out toys for them to watch and I practice them tracking the toys with their eyes. I am hoping to get some intentional times here soon. I know I am a few weeks away from it, but I can't wait!

Sweating + me= KARMA

Okay, you all win, I sweat now. BOOOO! Everyone who knows me knows that for years I have bragged about not sweating and how I don't need to wear deo for my B.O. Because I didn't sweat, hence I didn't smell. Okay well I still don't smell, at least not that my nose can detect... but I am sweating like a wharthog these days. I am hoping it is still all the hormones in my body from the pregnancy and eventually they will go away, however, I am having to invest in some good deo.

Well, today has been great so far, much much much better. Felt like I could do it for once, and possibly survive at the same time. :) Today I took the girls on a walk in the neighborhood around 10-11:30, I jammed out to my ipod, literally I was singing... please picture it along with me. The workers on other houses got a kick out of it! :) Then the girls fell asleep, so I took a shower when I got home. They ate again, so did I and then we went and trolled around the mall for an hour or so. I am telling you, these little ones like the car ride and the stroller, glad something is working!

Okay, stupid comment for the day: Lady in Mall "Awwwh they are so cute." Me: "Thank you." Lady in mall: "you know they grow up right?" Me: "uhhhh, yeah."

Okay people... I do not solicate comments.. so please don't comment on how cute they are and then assume that I don't know what hard work they are.... please, if I only thought they were cute I would be a stranger... I am the one up with them in the middle of the (night feeding them and with them all day... I realize they are more than cute. So, to the lady in the mall... "Here is your sign." (says idiot)

Okay, well continue to pray that Daniel and I survive. He will be off for 4-5 days starting tomorrow, I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to that.. plus... Date night!!! Thanks to our friends Kelly and Joey!

Crash

Tonight I felt like I crashed. I couldn't get Ava to settle down. She is so used to being held by everyone and comforted all the time. I honestly feel so overwhelmed by it. Daniel and I tried everything, he finally took her out on a drive because that works. I feel like a bad mom though because the cry just got to me, I couldn't console her. I feel bad having both of them and not being able to console them both when they both cry. It is just so hard. I knew it would be, but I think some people love to hear me admit it. I have never been disillusioned to believe this would be easy, but it is just as hard as I thought it would be. Whoever glamorized twins... is crazy.

The day was much better, i got to visit my friends at school and it was so nice to see everyone. The girls did really well and even went longer in between feedings and STILL did well. So, I was blessed by that. It was good to get out, I think I'll have to do that at least once a day. Well, I love them so much and want to be everything for them, so I keep trying ... and trying. Just keep praying that I can find ways to calm my girls and be a good mother to them!

Oh My!!!

Oh my!!! That is all I have to say about today! Wendy left around 11:15am and I was very sad. It is so nice to have someone else around to talk to and to help with the little things. I find that my days fly by because I am busy doing it all by myself. Granted, it is not even to the next feeding yet that I am writing this blog, however, I feel confident that I am correct in saying that the time goes faster because I am constantly prepping for the next ... thing, while they are sleeping. P.S. About them sleeping, there is this stinkin fly that keeps landing on Ava's face right now and about to wake her up... if it weren't so hard to catch and kill a fly I'd do it.

Okay, so when wendy left today I went to hastings book store to get a book about the first year, then I went to HEB... the grocery store for you northerners.... I did it all by myself, it was hard, but I managed to get them in and out of the car, into the store, got what I needed and we made it home safely!

Twin club members have been great at helping by bringing meals by. Wendy stocked my freezer along with my Dad, which was so helpful and will be as the days go on and I my responsibilities are increasing.

Several of you commended me on opening up about my struggles with raising twins and the feelings I was having.. thank you, I know that most of you know you can count on me always to tell the truth in how I am feeling, even if the truth isn't that great! Another twin mom put it best, "my hands are full, but my heart is overflowing." I think that describes it the best. I feel that overwhelming responsibility and then I am reminded that I can do this and I need to take it one hour at a time as Nicole says these first days. I am lucky to have such great friends and family rooting me on along the way.

So, it's almost time for them to eat again...... wish me luck!!! Love you all

1 month pictures

Dr. Apt. Today!

Today we had our 1 month Dr. Apt. for the girls. They had this apt just to check their weight since they are twins and born 3 weeks early. Great news at the apt.... Ava weighed 6lbs 13oz, she gained 21 ounces in 2 weeks! Which is great! They predict them to gain 1 oz a day and she gained more than that! Ella weighed 6lbs 6oz, up 17 ounces in 2 weeks, so she also is doing great. I can really notice the changes in them with the weight gain. I knew that Ava was bigger because her face is filling out and she is becoming a chunk monk. I love it! Ella has chubby cheeks but is overall smaller framed than Ava. They are both so adorable that Daniel and I can hardly stand it. I am pretty sure they have hicky cheeks from me kissing them so much. They love it though... :) At least that is what I tell myself!

Tomorrow is the day... and when I say... THE DAY, I mean the day that Wendy leaves after being here for 2 weeks and I will be doing this all on my own. She keeps saying I can do it and I know i can, I just have to do it to really realize I can make it. So you can be praying for me!

Last night was so sweet. Daniel took the girls by himself... at his own suggestion... to his parents house 30 mins away. He took bottles to feed them so I could have a break from breast feeding and the Dr. suggested for them to at least take a bottle, so we decided this would be a good way to give me a break. My friend Nicole also told me she gave up one feeding a day to give herself a break, besides, it is nice for someone else to be able to feed them. Daniel had them at his parents for awhile and then took them to see some family friends. This was nice and I was so proud of him that he did that on his own. Wendy encouraged me to let me do this for me... I was worried, not because I didn't think he could do it, only because I was going to miss them both... and him. With the babies it is hard getting time together. Speaking of time together, our friends offered to babysit this Friday while we go on a date. I never thought I'd be one to worry about leaving my babies, but I am... I figure if I am worried now and can do it, then it will only get better the more and more I let other people help.

So big date night soon and alone with the girls tomorrow... These are the days of my life!

more angel shots

Pictures by Wendy

Ava crying, Ella relaxing

Ella Rae

Naked Ella Rae

Ella Rae

Daddy kissing baby Ella

Ava crying

This is Ava Paige

Ava Paige thinking

baby girls, hard work

today is the 3 week and some days of these sweet baby girls and boy is it hard. Daniel and I take shifts during the night, but mainly the babies sleep on his side of the bed in the bassinet. I am having a lot of feelings, feelings of being so blessed, but also feelings of what have we gotten ourselves into. It is just so scary to think that this is our life now and we need to adjust accordingly. I miss my relationship with Daniel when it was just the two of us and we had no one else to worry about, but then again I feel more complete than I ever had, it is hard to imagine not realizing something was missing... but now that they are here, I know THEY are what was missing in our lives.

My heart is so full, but I am overwhelmed with the responsibility. Breastfeeding them both at the same time alone is such a responsibility, I am having to be ON every 3 hours or less. It isn't the most comfortable in the world, so I am just trying to get used to it all. I miss Daniel so much when he is at work.

My parents left on Monday and my sister-in-law Wendy is here to help. It is nice, we have gotten alot of the house organized to make it much easier for me to function when she leaves. Today we went to the grocery store so I know what it will be like... it will be crazy, two carseats, 1 diaper bag and a partridge in a pear tree. At least now I know I can do it.

Ava is such a little spitfire, she doesn't like to wait, Ella doesn't mind waiting, but they both like attention. I just love them so much. Daniel and I stare at them and think.."How could we be so lucky, they are so healthy, they are so beautiful, wow we are lucky."

I can't wait for all the stages, it is so fun watching them grow already. Looking towards the future!